You Saw Who Naked?
by The Yank and The Brit
Summary: Two stories for the price of one. Two of our favorite characters get some shocking surprises when looking for Amanda.
1. Introduction

"You Saw Who Naked?"

Is merely a header; something that really describes what's at the heart of the two stories contained within this single 'Story'.

The following two "chapters" are really stand alone stories, however they were both written in response to a challenge.

They are tied together by one line in the second "chapter", and the idea to tie them together was inspired by one of my favorite episodes in Friends. (Season 1 – Ep. #13 "The One with the Boobies").

I hope you enjoy them both.

- AmyF


	2. Ch 1 Satin and Scones

**Disclaimer**: The characters from Scarecrow and Mrs. King are the property of Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. I have borrowed the characters without the consent or knowledge of Warner Brothers or Shoot the Moon. This story, however, is copyrighted to the mentioned author. This story is for entertainment purposes ONLY. If you would like to add it to an archive, please just let me know.

**Timeframe:**  Set during the series, but shortly after the episode "Any Number Can Play".

**Author's Note:**  This story was written because of a challenge line issued on an SMK website.  The challenge line that had to be used was "What do you mean you saw him naked?"  Thanks to Jan, my partner in crime, for betaing this for me, it really is so much better because of her assistance. 

Also, while the debate is still out there about when Lee and Amanda actually consummated their relationship, I for one am of two minds on the subject; sometimes I believe they waited till the wedding night, and sometimes I believe they made the leap as a way to celebrate their engagement.  For this story, I am standing on the fence that they celebrated their engagement in style.

One additional note/disclaimer.  Jan, my beta, mentioned that she remembered reading something similar. I want to stipulate that I have not read anything like this, but I do apologize upfront to anyone who might be the author of something that is very similar.  No infringement on your idea/story was intended.

**Rating:** PG-13

**Satin and Scones**

**_By Amy F_**

         Dotty opened the front door and stepped into the foyer.  Finally, after what had seemed like an eternity, she was home.  Shutting the door behind her, she called for her daughter.  Not getting a reply, she headed into the kitchen and threw her purse on the counter.  "Amanda," she called again, but still all she received in response was silence.  She glanced around the counter and on the fridge, looking for any indication of a note.  Not that she expected to get one; after all she wasn't even expected home for another few hours.

         However, after what Dotty had just heard at the beauty parlor from Millicent, she had decided to skip the mall and head straight home.  She had to share the news with Amanda.  Since there wasn't any note, and Amanda's car was in the driveway, she decided to try upstairs.

         As Dotty reached the top of the stairs, she heard the sound of running water coming from Amanda's room.   She was about to turn and head back downstairs when she heard the water shut off.   This news was too good to sit on…she was just bursting to tell Amanda.  It wasn't that she didn't want to respect Amanda's privacy, but what did her daughter have that she hadn't seen a dozen times?  She opened the bedroom door and headed into her daughter's room.  "Amanda, you just have to hear what Millicent McDonald told me…" Her voice trailed off, and she stared at the handsome man in front of her. "Oh my."  Her eyes grew wide as they took in the dripping wet hunk of manhood that stood before her.

         Dotty was mesmerized by the sight.  She had always said that Lee was an eleven but that was just on his looks and manners, now, as she scanned his tightly muscled abs and legs and stared admiringly at his package, she decided she was wrong.  Very wrong.  He was definitely a fifteen. 

         Lee was just as stunned as Dotty was.  He had been drying himself off when he'd heard the bedroom door open.  Thinking that his fiancée had entered, he hadn't bothered to wrap the towel around himself before making his way into the bedroom.  However, now, as he quickly realized that he was still standing there stark naked, he automatically began to wrap it around his waist.  Unfortunately, in his embarrassed state, he couldn't get the towel knotted, and it slipped from his fingers.  As he bent down to pick it up, he banged his head on the doorframe.  "Ouch!"

         "Lee… Oh, are you okay."  Dotty shook her head and automatically started towards the now injured man.  Then, realizing that he was still naked and that she had been staring at him, she quickly turned her now beet red face away from the picture of perfection, spun around and almost ran out of the bedroom.

         Clutching his now throbbing head with one hand, Lee stood up and tried to tie the towel around his waist. "Dotty!" He called after her.  He started to head out of the room after her, but decided that it probably wasn't the best idea to go after her wearing nothing but a towel.  He dropped the towel and grabbed the pair of shorts he'd left on Amanda's bed.   He tried to put them on as he walked and managed to trip himself.  With one hand still on his shorts, he put the other one out in front to meet the floor.  He didn't need another smack on the head.  This day was already turning into a nightmare.

         Standing back up, Lee pulled his shorts all the way on and made his way towards the door.  He stopped just as he reached it and realized he couldn't go after his future mother-in-law in just a pair of shorts.  Amanda yes, but not Dotty.  Not wanting to waste anymore time, he grabbed the first thing he could lay his hands on and slipping his arms into the sleeves, he raced out the door and down the stairs.

         "Dotty!" Lee called as he ran down the steps two at a time.  He prayed she hadn't run outside.  If she had left the house, he'd be faced with a dilemma.  Did he run after his future mother-in-law, or stay inside?  If he ran after her, then he would stir up more trouble for Amanda. It would be very hard for his fiancée to avoid the gossip that his current attire was going to spread through the neighborhood rumor mill.  But if he didn't run after her, then things between himself and Amanda's mother would be extremely awkward, and that wasn't how he wanted to start out married life… having to walk on eggshells around his own mother-in-law. "Dotty!"  He called again as he jumped down the last step and turned into the kitchen-den area.  He let out a brief sigh of relief when he saw that she was still inside.  "I have a very good explanation..."

         Dotty had been walking aimlessly around the den.  Her mind was a mixture of embarrassment, shock and anger.  She didn't know Lee all that well, and while she had suspected that Lee and Amanda were now dating somewhat seriously, she hadn't realized it was that serious.  Lee was practically a stranger to her and she had just found him, naked, in her daughter's bathroom.  Upon hearing Lee descending the stairs, she'd gone over to the coffee table and picked up the pile of magazines and began re-organizing them.  Unable to look at her daughter's boyfriend, she kept her eyes focused on the pile of magazines in her hand.  "Okay, explain. I can't wait to hear what you were doing in Amanda's shower…" She placed the now organized magazines on to the table and then still not wanting to look at Lee, picked them back up again. "And while we're on the subject, where exactly is my daughter?"

         "Amanda had to run and pick up something…"  Lee began with the safe answer. 

         "Protection?"  Dotty muttered under her breath, a little louder she pressed the issue again. "And you were using her shower why?"

         "It was closer than going back to my apartment." He began a bit lamely.  He didn't know where to go from there. He couldn't exactly tell her why he'd been was using Amanda's shower. He'd just spent the better part of his morning going through a dumpster looking for a microdot and that the smell had been overpowering and that Amanda's house was much closer.  So he decided to try a diversionary tactic. "I'm sorry.  I thought you were Amanda." He replied and then realized how lame even that answer sounded.  He never was good at explaining anything to a parental figure, he seemed to get all tongue tied.

          "Well that much was obvious."  Dotty picked up the pile and re-arranged the magazines a second time. "Even if you thought I was Amanda, don't you know that walking around naked and wet is never a good idea?" Despite her current emotions, she was a mother, and her motherly instincts took over.  "You could catch cold."  She had a strong desire to give him the motherly glare he deserved, but she was still too embarrassed to look him in the face.

         Amanda chose that moment to enter through the back door.  Before she had a chance to take in the situation fully, she replied automatically to her mother's comment.  "What do you mean you saw him naked?"  Then, taking one quick look at her husband in her pink satin bathrobe, drops of water still clinging to his freshly washed and not yet combed hair and her mother avoiding all eye contact, she bit her lip to keep from laughing.

         Dotty felt relieved to finally have someone to make eye contact with, and removing her gaze from the magazines in her arms, she glanced up and glared at her daughter.  "I was looking for you." She dropped the magazines unceremoniously onto the table.  "Why isn't important."  Placing her hands on her hips, and gave the motherly glare to her daughter. "What I really want to know, and have yet to get a straight answer on, is what he," she pointed back towards Lee, "was doing in your room, naked and looking for you, in the first place."

         Amanda's gaze moved to her fiancé and while he looked damn sexy, even if he was in her bathrobe, the sight of him in her bathrobe was making it very hard for her to keep a straight face.  Knowing that her mother was probably extremely embarrassed, as was Lee, laughing now was not going to make the situation better.   "Lee," she moved her gaze to his face as she walked over to him.  "Why don't you go put these clean clothes on," she handed him the small duffle bag she'd brought back from his apartment.  "I'll explain to mother."

         Lee started to open his mouth to remind her not to give away trade secrets, then stopped.  Amanda had come up with enough stories over the last three and a half years, that he really had no reason to worry. "Okay."  He reached out to take the bag from her, but almost lost his balance, again, when she pulled him closer.

         "I like the outfit." Amanda whispered and then placed a kiss on his cheek. "Now, go."  She smiled as she watched him turn around, and resisted the urge to give his satiny bottom a smack; she didn't need to give her mother anymore ammo than she already had.  She waited until he had gone up a few steps before turning back to face the infamous West inquisition.

         Dotty had watched the exchange between her daughter and Lee with extreme interest.  Obviously there was a lot more going on than a couple in the early stages of dating.  Amanda and Lee were a lot more comfortable with each other.  She really shouldn't be surprised, after all her daughter was an adult, and was entitled to a fulfilling love-life.  After all, she still enjoyed a good romp in the hay.  Now, she met her daughter's questioning and expectant gaze with a shrug and moved over to sit on the couch and patted the cushion beside her.

         Amanda took the cue and moved into the den, sitting down and turning to face her mother.  "It was all perfectly innocent Mother," she began, "we were checking out this restaurant for a possible documentary on places on Capitol Hill frequented by diplomats and Lee's camera lens fell into one of the dumpsters.  He ended up going into the dumpster to retrieve it.  And rather than smell like garbage all day, and since I lived closer than his apartment, we just came here.  Trust me, the stench was awful.  It was so bad, I ended up throwing his other clothes away.  So while he showered, I ran back to his place to grab some clothes for him."  She watched her mother's face wondering if Dotty believed her.  Her mother really had no reason not to; after all it was almost the whole truth.  Lee had gone into the dumpster, just not to retrieve a camera lens.

         Dotty sighed and patted her daughter's leg affectionately.  "Amanda, dear.  You're a grown woman, I have no right to judge what you do with your life.  I guess I was just a little more embarrassed than anything and I took my embarrassment out on Lee a little more angrily than I had planned."

         "What were you doing in my room anyway, Mother?" Amanda asked, her expression curious. "I mean, you don't normally just come barging in without knocking and waiting for a response, first.  And come to think of it, aren't you supposed to be at the mall with Edna right now?"

         Suddenly the reason for coming home early came rushing back to Dotty, and her early embarrassment immediately dissipated. "Yes, but I found something out that I just had to share with you before it got around the neighborhood.  You know what, why don't I go fix us both a cup of tea, and tell you over one of those nice scones you picked up this morning?"  She pushed off from the cushion and rose from her seat.

         Amanda's curiosity was now really piqued.  Whatever it was, it had to be really good to make her mother miss an afternoon of shopping. "That sounds like a good idea."  She stood up and followed her mother into the kitchen. "I'll get the scones and plates down."

         Dotty took the kettle from the stove, and as she placed it under the faucet, Amanda went to the cabinet beside her to take down some plates.  "By the way, dear, I take back what I said about Lee."

         With three plates in hand, Amanda looked over at her mother. "Oh?"

         "Yes, I was wrong.  He's not an eleven. He's not even a fifteen.  I may never be able to look him in the eyes again, but I can tell you with absolutely certainty," Dotty turned off the water and walking around her daughter, placed the kettle on the stove, "he's a twenty."

         "That he is, Mother." Amanda leaned back and caught sight of her now fully dressed fiancé standing on the landing. "That he is."  She winked and then made her way over to the kitchen table with the bag of scones and plates in hand.  This afternoon was going to be very interesting indeed, but one thing was certain, she wasn't going to let her mother or fiancé leave the house until they could both look each other in the eye again.

**The End **


	3. Ch 2 Shower Surprises

**Disclaimer**: The characters from Scarecrow and Mrs. King are the property of Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. I have borrowed the characters without the consent or knowledge of Warner Brothers or Shoot the Moon. This story, however, is copyrighted to the mentioned author. This story is for entertainment purposes ONLY. If you would like to add it to an archive, please just let me know.

**Timeframe:**  Set after the series had ended.  Mystery marriage is still a secret.

**Author's Note:**  This story was written because of a challenge line issued on an SMK website.  The challenge line that had to be used was "What do you mean you saw her naked?"  Thanks to Jan, my partner in crime, for betaing this for me.

**Rating**: PG-13

**Shower Surprises**

**_By Amy F_**

         Francine walked along the quiet upstairs hallway leading to the Q-Bureau muttering to herself.  She didn't like being Billy's errand girl, especially when her inbox was already too full.   She also wasn't in the mood for any of the constant banter that went on between the residents of the Q.  But, she was safe.  It was seven-thirty in the morning, way too early for either of them to be in yet.  Then again, since she had taken the back way up, she hadn't had a chance to pass by Mrs. Marston to find out if either of them had checked in.  No, she rationalized, since neither of them knew about this high priority case yet, chances were very good that neither of them were in yet.

         Rounding the corner, Francine was shocked to see the Agency's resident custodian standing outside the Bureau door.  "Rag Mop what are…" 

         Rag Mop put his finger to his lips and then pointed towards the slightly ajar door.

         Francine gave him a curious look.   'I can't go in there.  It's not empty.' She watched the custodian mouth.  She moved closer and stopped just outside the door, in order to hear the conversation going on inside.  Whatever it was, it had to have been good for both of them to forget to make sure the door was securely closed.

         "Amanda, the image will be forever burned into my memory.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to look your mother in the eye again."

         "I still can't believe you walked in on Mother in the shower." Francine could hear the laughter in the brunette's voice. 

         "I thought it was you in the shower.  How was I supposed to know that Phillip had clogged the drain in the other bathroom and that Dotty would be using yours?"

         Francine couldn't take it any longer, she didn't bother knocking, she just opened the door. "What do you mean you saw her naked?" She sputtered. "Dotty West? Lee, I know you dated a few older women in your time but Dotty West?"  She stared open mouthed as she took notice of the position the two were standing in.  Lee had his arms wrapped around Amanda's waist, both of them staringback at her, completely stunned, like a pair of children who'd just been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. 

         "You both told me that you'd broken up."   Francine put her hand in the air as Lee dropped his arms from around Amanda's waist and Amanda moved a few inches away and they both opened their mouths, simultaneously, to explain. "You know what I don't want to hear it.  You're both adults."  She tossed a folder on Amanda's desk and then turned to leave. "That's from Billy.  A priority one case."  She headed back out the door, turning briefly to nod towards the doorknob. "Next time make sure the door's closed all the way."

         "And locked too." Amanda muttered as she made her way over to shut the door.  Reaching it, she stopped and stared at the man standing in the hallway.

         "Look don't worry about it, Amanda." Lee said as he came up behind her, mistaking her hesitation for concern over what Francine was going to say.  "At least we don't have to walk on eggshells around her anymore."

         "No, but I don't think our secret's very secret anymore." Amanda nodded towards the custodian. "Morning, Rag Mop."

         "Morn'n Mrs. K." Rag Mop nodded and smiled. "Mr. S."

         "Um, Rag Mop.  I'm not sure what you heard but…" Lee began, but stopped when the other man put up his hand.

         "No need to worry Mr. S.  These ears have heard quite a few secrets around the halls of the Agency over the years. They're all tucked away up here." Rag Mop tapped his head lightly. "And they have never been or will ever be spoken by these lips."  He put his hand on his mop and began pushing his bucket back down the hallway.  "Your secret's safe with me."

         "Don't you want to clean in here?" Amanda called after him.

         "Nah," Rag Mop waved back. "I'll come back later, when the room's not occupied." He winked and then made his way around the corner.

         Amanda stepped back inside, closed the door firmly and then locked it.  She leaned against the frame and bent her head down. "How could we have been so careless Lee?"

         Lee moved closer and placing one hand around her waist, he lifted her chin with the finger of his other.  "Maybe this was a sign.  Maybe it's someone's way of telling us to end the secrecy."

         "I don't think we have to worry about that." Amanda brought her hand up and began drawing lazy circles on Lee's chest. "Somehow I doubt that we haven't heard the last of this from Francine, and someone's bound to overhear at the wrong time…"

         Lee leaned forward and captured her lips. "We'll make sure we tell the truth to Francine first." He said after the kiss ended.

         "Maybe you're right.  Maybe it is time to come clean." Amanda smiled as she wrapped her arms around her husband's neck. "So tell me something.  Is my mother that bad looking?"

         "Amanda…" Lee stared at his wife. "She's my mother-in-law."

         "Yes, but what I need to know is, will you still find me attractive when I reach her age." Amanda began playing with the tendrils of hair at the nape of his neck.

         "Oh, you don't have anything to worry about." Lee's hands followed the curve of her body as they came to rest behind her back. "Especially if you take after the West side of the family."  And then, before she had a chance to respond, he captured his wife's lips once more. 

         "You thought my mother was good looking?" Amanda asked as soon as the kiss had ended, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

         "Well the way I look at it, now your Mother and I are even.  She's seen me, and now I've seen her."  Lee smiled, giving her the full dimpled effect. 

         "Hold on a second," Amanda leaned back, watching him suspiciously. "I thought you said the memory was going to haunt you."

         "No," Lee shook his head slightly, "what I said was the memory was going to be burned into my memory forever."

         "But the way you said it earlier, made it sound like seeing my mother naked was a horrible thing." Amanda wiggled, loosening the grip he had on her waist.  "Wait a minute, does that mean you thought she was attractive?"

         Lee was doing his best to choose his words carefully at this point.  "Well I won't lie to you, especially since you were the one who asked, and I told you truthfully that you have nothing to worry about, looks wise anyway.  But you're right, it was a horrible thing." He tightened his grip on her waist once more, pulling her closer. "While the view wasn't that bad, it was the sound she made that I don't think I'll ever be able to forget.  I never knew your mother's voice could reach that high a pitch.   Did I mention she actually threw the bar of soap at me, all the while scolding me for having the nerve to just walk in on someone in the shower, her voice reaching octaves that would make any operatic diva jealous?"

         Though Amanda had been doing her best to appear slightly annoyed, after all he was attacking her Mother, she couldn't keep a straight face, but did manage to keep from laughing.  She had heard the whole sordid story from her Mother that night when she'd gotten home from a last minute PTA meeting.  Lee had apparently been hoping to surprise her by joining her in the shower.  However, since he'd been out in the field, he didn't know she wasn't home, and had surprised her Mother instead.  "Well, I guess that means you won't be pulling anymore shower curtains open without asking who's in there first."

         "You can say that again." Lee smirked. "At least not in your house.  Kind of takes all the fun out of it.  Though there's still the shower at my apartment." His smirk turned into a devilish grin.

         Amanda let her hands trail up his back and, as they came to rest on the back of his neck, she whispered, "Maybe this will help make the memory of yesterday's incident disappear." And she pulled his head down, and placed a passionate kiss on his lips.

         "It helps," Lee replied huskily against her lips, as the kiss ended. "It definitely helps."

         "Good." Amanda slid her hands down his chest and then pushed him away. "Now, its time to get to work." 

         As his wife tried to break the embrace, Lee pulled her closer. "But it hasn't gotten rid of the memory completely."

         Amanda smiled and shook her head.  "If you're a good boy all day, I promise to reward you tonight," she trailed her finger along his cheekbone, "all night."

         "All night?" Lee's face lit up like a kid in a candy store.

         Amanda nodded. "I had a feeling that you were going to need a little tender loving after yesterday so I told Mother we'd be working in the editing room all night."

         Lee abruptly let go of his wife and, practically jumping over to her desk, picked up the file Francine had deposited a few minutes earlier.  "Well what are we waiting for? Let's get this case finished and get home."

         Amanda shook her head and went over to join her husband.  She hoped for both their sakes, the case was an open and shut one.

**The End**


End file.
